Poisoned Dream
by LordDreadSigma
Summary: Tori finds herself in a bit of a bind after a particularly spicy dream involving a friend, sort of. Femslash.
1. Snakebite

**AN:** So, was trying to work on other vastly overdue stuff when this hit me out of nowhere and I couldn't stop typing it. I blame several hilarious Swan Queen stories for the inspiration (yet to be honest I can't even remember which ones now, sorry)… though this has nothing to do with those story wise, merely inspired by a few scenes in them… I think.

Anywho, nothing graphic, just amusing. And in case it wasn't clear, femslash.

**Disclaimer:** ...I guess we still do these, right? …eh, whatever, **I do NOT own Victorious**, if anything the following story is the reason why not...hehehe

* * *

In the dusky haze of a late autumn day Tori would have normally been relishing watching a medley of people enjoying the disturbingly good tacos at Paco's Taco cart…one of the three most popular food carts to ever grace the shore of the long California coast line. The tacos were not the reason the songstress came here every Thursday, no, the reason for her camping out on a bench under a palm tree was to see the reactions when the new customers got to meet Paco… the young six foot five man of Japanese ancestry born and raised in a small town near Hamburg, Germany. She usually took infinite delight in seeing the looks in their eyes when it dawned on them that they had created an artificial Paco based on his name and choice of food served that was a stark contrast to the man towering over most of them.

But not even Paco's arrival could make her smile today despite how much she desperately wanted it to. For today Tori had been struggling with something as silly as a dream. Not the kind of dream where she had numerous labels near literally ready to declare a mob style war on each other just to get a meeting with her…those always made her smile and cringe, at discovering she liked the idea of such a thing for her attention. This was a slightly more primal dream, of the variety that plagued anyone with hormones causing all sorts of problems or anyone with a sex drive frankly. It wasn't so much that it was a sex dream, let's face it she's had more than a few of those…it was more the other star of said dream and the fact that she vividly remembered it all damn day long that was the problem. The unintended or rather greatly desired star of her dream was her dear frienemy, Jade.

* * *

_**Flashback like thingy:**_

_That morning alone was hell. Three cold showers didn't numb her brain the way she hoped, and the eggs on her plate kept reminding her of… well, boobs, which quickly lead to her thinking about the goth's two perfectly sculpted mounds of supple flesh each crowned by a deliciously sensitive peak. That alone there at the table sent a shiver down her spine ending with a growing heat at her core. Hastily she had disembarked for a fourth frigid shower, grateful Trina didn't care enough to ask why … or even notice for that matter. _

_It didn't get any better once she was at school, because well duh that's where the object of her intense dirty little fantasy was. Tori was hastily grabbing what she needed from her locker hoping to avoid her… but that wasn't in the cards, as the girl greeted Cat…who she had no idea was standing right beside her. The simple words 'Hey, Cat' said in just her normal voice forced Tori to grab her locker for support as her legs effectively turned to jelly. _

"_What's wrong, Vega? You wouldn't happen to be making my day and be dying of an incurable illness now would you?" She said with that accursed smirk playing upon her lips, Tori could just feel it. _

_Tori couldn't trust herself to look over her shoulder to meet the girl's eyes and make a retort… for several obvious reasons, the most terrifying was Jade reading her like a cheap tabloid article and knowing exactly what was wrong with her. Instead she faced the inside of her locker as she, with all her might, calmly said, "Not that I know of." Surprising herself by how normal that sounded, she added, "But if I am and it's contagious, by all means step a little closer." As she turns full around to display a little smirk, hopefully wordless adding 'so you can die too'. Unfortunately she was right when she told herself not to turn around, because as soon as her chocolate eyes meet blue-green ones she's effectively dead. Her heart stops cold in her chest as she finds several lumps in her throat that she wants to try and force down with what would be obvious swallows… And once Jade's eyebrow rises curiously noting an attempt by its owner to discern what the hell the girl before hers problem was, Tori's legs give way and she collapses to the floor. _

_She's grateful that she's no longer locked in Jade's gaze, but now she finds herself looking at Jade's 'waist', which restarts Tori's heart…by making it hammer about in her chest as if it was a caged beast trying to break free. The resurgence of blood flow finds itself mostly heading south. Though enough reaches her brain to make her flee response kick in and propel her to her feet and the bathroom asap. _

_Standing over the sink, after having dunked her face in a pool of cold water, Tori tries to regain control over her frayed nerves. Deeply regretting not taking a day off to attempt to deal with what she was feeling. She was starting to get the feeling that she would very possibly have a heart attack/orgasm combo before the day was out. Not wanting to be late for one of the classes she didn't have with the producer to be, she hurries off… hoping that she would be able to focus on something else. _

_Not having to be near Jade most of the day was helping…some. There were a few incidents involving a student with similar hair or clothing causing a mini-panic attack accompanied by a traitorous physical reaction that if it continued would require a change of knickers. Once they had passed she wondered if the two were supposed to be able to exist with each other… but given that it happened it seemed like they indeed could._

_It wasn't until lunch that Tori wanted to run home and just sit in the shower as water icy beyond what a person should be able to stand finally dulled the ache blazing within her… lady bits. What happened wasn't something that she wanted to remember, because when she did…well, polar shower. _

_Instead of running home she merely calmly walked to the principal's office and requested a leave of absence, honestly citing a confusing personal issue that required she be removed from the presence of another student before she suffered a serious panic attack. Under normal circumstances this is something that would never be allowed, but the combination of reports from some of her teachers of what appeared to be minor panic attacks and her shaking before her with anxiety hallow in her eyes… well, the woman approved. _

_Feeling a tiny bit of relief in not being forced to stay, and oddly enough not having to speak to anyone about it, Tori leaves school early. She goes home and sits in the shower, just as she had wanted and lets the cold water numb her. _

_Once she was cooled off, she began the process of considering what in the hell… She had a sex dream about Jade. A very very vivid sex dream that could possibly put the karma sutra to shame. The fact that it was a girl causing her nether regions to burn wasn't really a problem; despite her never finding another female sexually arousing before… she was at peace with it, for the most part. And the fact that it was Jade…also not terribly shocking, Jade was hot, if she was going to have a lesbian sexual fantasy about anyone Jade was as logical if not the most logical choice of all the girls she had a catalog of images and capabilities ingrained into her brain of. So when she started to think about her overreactions to Jade and the pho-Jades she felt a bit embarrassed. Just because she wanted to effectively fuck Jade's brains out didn't mean she needed to overreact. But then she considered what would happen if Jade ever found out… and her reactions felt perfectly valid. Jade was not one to let something like this go to waste or be forgotten, oh heavens no, she would taunt and tease and make her squirm until she confessed to the world that she was constantly thinking about her naked. And even then she'd probably screw with her…but never screw her. _

_At that Tori's emotional state shifted from panicky self-discovery to sorrow._

_**End of flashback like thingy:**_

* * *

This is what led her to seek happiness from Paco's Tacos…

"So that's the famous Paco?" Jade remarks as she appears behind Tori as if by magic.

Not flinching in the slightest since her olfactory receptors alerted her to the other girl's presence before she spoke, Tori… not exactly sure when she started noticing Jade's scent… replied disinterestedly, "Yep, that's Paco."

Taking in the expressions on a couple of folks faces as the man extended his hand in friendly introduction, Jade smiled lightly, "Amusing" Before moving around the bench to face Tori, "So, want to explain what happened today?"

Tori casts her eyes to the side, not daring to make eye contact, "Not really."

"How about you try." The phrase should have been a question, but the way Jade said it it was most certainly an aggressive request.

"…Why do you care?" Not giving in to the tone to either comply or challenge her…as would have been accustomed a day prior.

"I don't." Jade states flatly, "But you freaking out and running away from me…I'd really like to know how to do that again at will." Her lips curling into a smirk.

"Buy me a spicy shrimp taco." The words fall out of her mouth before she even registers she's actually speaking.

"That your price?" The goth inquires slightly intrigued.

"No, but in the time it takes you to get me one I should have the nerve to tell you." And she hoped it was the truth, because apparently a part of her was concerned with revealing the truth, but gods know why.

Merely smiling ever so slightly devilishly Jade makes her way over to greet Paco… commenting, 'I thought you'd be taller.' Earning her a heartily laugh and a couple complimentary 'king of the sea' shrimp tacos, the largest tacos they sold.

Tori doesn't get the luxury of thinking of how she's going to say what she's going to say, because she finds herself rather entranced by watching Jade leave…

The next thing she knows the girl of her (sex) dreams is already back. "Here." Jade hands Tori the meal in a soft shell as she flops down beside her, ready to take a bite of the shrimpy behemoth.

"Thanks." Speaking automatically.

After a few bites and no movement or words from her bench mate, Jade cuts, "Any time, Vega."

Releasing a long sigh, Tori begins, "You'll definitely give me hell for this, but a deal's a deal…" Pausing to steel herself before diving into depths that may as well claim her forever in their icy grasp, "…I had a dream…"

Sure it was probably as inappropriate as hell, but it was Jade so she couldn't resist, "Been to the mountain top too?"

And at that moment Tori was given a piece of clarity, partially encouraged by earlier realizations but now given more fervor by the implications of the comparisons of that speech and the issues surrounding it regarding equality…which did in part extend to a component of what she was about to reveal… but ultimately Tori's confession had next to nothing to do with it at the same time. Jade wasn't going to be the kind of person who held the sexual orientation component over her, no Jade was going to solely focus on it being her as the fuel for her fantasies (one so far, but Tori knew that one wouldn't be the last, not by a long shot). So with this in mind Tori had to chuckle a little, "…Compared to what that was about this is pretty silly. So thanks for the perspective." Meeting Jade's gaze for the first time in this unexpected meeting.

Not exactly expecting that response she nods, "Right…"

But before she had to prod Tori onward the other girl spoke, "I had a dream about you."

"Huh…"

"Sex dream." She clarifies.

"Yeah.".

"Very graphic sex dream."

"I got it, Vega. I'm not Cat." She sneers. Then after another moment of inner delight at this news she inquires, "That it?" Receiving a nod as an answer she further asks, "So the freaking out was because of what?" Acting as if she had not just moments ago been nearly speechless at her frienemy confessing to having a _very graphic_ sex dream about her.

A little stunned Tori offers, "I thought you might have been able to tell."

"What am I all-seeing?" Jade growled… half expecting some kind of half-assed wicked witch West joke regarding her seeing into crystal balls and some shit.

"I don't know, it usually seems like you can tell things about people…see through them sometimes. And I wasn't really being subtle, jelly legs and all." Tossing in a nervous laugh.

Her inward smile at having that effect on Vega makes its presence known on her lips, unbeknownst to her, as she tries to pry some more out of the other girl, "And at lunch?"

Despite her rapidly drying throat and flushed flesh, she answers as best she can, "Seeing you soaking wet and your head covered in whip cream….overload." Again trying to impart a little humor to help defuse the tension she feels building…

Grinning wickedly the pale one asks, "You have a thing for cupcakes?"

"When they're that hot, you bet your sweet ass." As she hears the words playing back in her mind she can't believe she just said that…

Before Tori can back pedal or try to find a way to disregard that word choice Jade flatly asks, "Was I good?" The other girl looks at her puzzled, so she elucidates, "In your fantasy, was I…" Taking her sweet time to finish as she sees the realization dawning on Vega of what's she asking her, "…satisfying?" The word seems innocent enough if you weren't looking into those blue-green orbs burning with a saccharine seduction. Tori remains silent, appearing to shrink down on the bench as if wishing to disappear, to which Jade lightly chuckles, "Figured, even in your dreams I'm amazing."

Jade knows that Tori could just about die right now, if the amount of blood coloring her ears was any indication, but she can't stop, "Have you….?" Asking innocently, "You know?" Darting her eyes toward Tori's… 'waist'. Catching Jade's implication the sun-kissed songstress' mortification has tripled.

Her voice sounding barely audible she finally squeaks out, _"I have no idea what you're talking about." _But the lie is too easy to detect and she squirms under Jade's accusatory glare, cracking, "_No, I haven't…"_

"But you want to?" Asking without accusation but rather curiosity… and possibly more. Again Tori remains silent, so she pulls out her phone and sends the other girl a snapshot, "Here."

Tori pulls out her phone, if only by second nature to when it alerts her to…well anything incoming honestly, "Wha…" Stopping mid word once she sees the image looking back at her, "…Jade!"

"Yes, Vega?" Asking ever so innocently.

"That's… that's…" Stammering as the unbelievable image is subconsciously burned into her brain.

Leaning over and peeking at the image Jade feigns having made an error, "Oops, seems I sent the wrong picture. I hope I don't send more tonight while I'm taking a bath. How embarrassing would that be?" Letting the emotions in her eyes bore their way deep into the other's soul.

Rising from the bench Jade leaves Tori to regain basic control over herself, as she herself is off to pay the final installment for a little something-something she acquired from a shady source located in the darkest depths of the shadow net, _'Amplification of selected natural sexual attraction? …double check. Product review: infinite delight, unrequited love/lust is actually requited… can I do more than five stars?'_

* * *

**AN:** Yes, you read that last paragraph right. Fun, ain't it?

Oops, nearly forgot (or originally did...who asked you?) this is a oneshot... though I MAY have a second chapter cooking after reading a few reviews.

_-May Dread watch over you-_


	2. Prequel: My Ugly American Dream

**AN**: Prequel. Those are hot right now, right? ...because everyone wants to know the boring stuff that lead to the thing that people liked, right? Tell me dammit or I kill the bunny. (imagine a semi-adorable somewhat still fuzzy creature of the 'cute' variety is on a giant X to which a deathray is pointed... and by deathray I mean bucket of homemade naplam)

Italics = nonverbal communication

italics with single quotation marks _' ' _= thoughts ...(isn't that universal? it should be.)

* * *

_It's perfectly normal to have incredibly vivid sweat-soaking sexual fantasies about people you don't like...right? Not hate-torture fantasies, but super sexy mind melting instant O-inducing ones. Sure you've made it pretty clear that you are totally still into your boyfriend, even if that sex train left the station before you even boarded because you met this girl who like total gets your motor white hot and achy. Despite her being a girl and your enemy supreme... but god she's just so... 'ugh, fuck this shit!'_ Jade wasn't exactly doing so well at the moment. Ever since she started having... desires for her frenemy she's been trying a variety of things to get her head around it, including posting anon questions at all kinds of sites, even unsavory pervy ones. She wasn't even sure why she was doing it really, something about getting the thoughts out there in the 'real' world vaguely came to mind from some crackpot tv show 'doctor' her step-mother likes to watch.

Regardless the pervy sites part led to her being visited on her laptop by an intrusive asshole with a hot pink pixie-hawk (pixie mo-hawk hybrid hairstyle... trademark pending).

Without warning a text box opens on the computer itself, _Wow, someone sure is a big fan of interracial latin lesbians, huh? -Harley Boneraper, Esq._ Followed by a series of Jade's bookmarked porn links and before she can even begin to consider what's going on another message appears, _Yes, you have been hacked. Expertly I might add. By the best. Which really should go without say._ Her response is to slam the laptop closed.

Moments later her phone rings, then answers itself, "Unless you want me popping up on your parents' phones with your porn links I'd leave this one on." Offered by a synthetic female voice.

"What do you want?" Jade barks, not quite grasping how someone on the receiving end of extortion is supposed to act.

"The power to control time would be nice, but you don't seem like a genie... So I'll settle for an answer to a question."

Jade's first thought is that this person is an idiot, and idiot who's going to make her life a fucking nightmare, but she decides not to voice that, instead going with, "Ask."

"Is the Vega girl in danger of being abducted for some sort of depraved sexual assault?"

She was a fair bit horrified by the implication of the question, "What kind of fucked up question is that?"

"I reasoned a fair one given the stalker-esk things you say and write. Pro tip: a connected webcam is not a deactivated webcam."

It stood to reason this person had been spying on her to some degree, but hearing that makes her mind race backward at every single thing she's ever said or written or looked up and it makes her skin crawl, her heart race, and a vermillion rage make her howl, "Fucking pervert!" Pure seething fury at such an invasion, as well as plenty of fear of what can be done with all that information, burns throughout her.

"Don't shout at me. I'm not the one that installed that software... Go berate Jeffery Deeks at 106 Mongoose road... Lansing, Michigan."

Perhaps it was her fury filled mind playing tricks on her but the synth voice almost sounded hurt as it informed her of her true enemy, not that this Harley was getting off either..._'ewwww',_ grossed out by her own mind she bites,"I'll just hop on my priavte jet."

"Fine I'll give him a little surprise via the feds. And toss out a virus to clean up any trace of your files."

_'Was that a sigh?... that didn't just sound, sincere? impossible,' _she offers, "Good." Still weirded out by the strange desire to take this person at face value, probably a monster mistake there.

"Now do you mind actually answering my question about the object of your sexually frustrated fantasies?"

She had hoped this person would have gotten too distracted with the other person to remember that.

"No judgment. But the level of aggression and obsession is somewhat concerning."

"I'm not obsessed." Jade informs, though she knows it's a super obvious lie especially to someone who has the info this person has, '_It's not my fault, I can't stop the thougths, the dreams, the... lust.' _And frankly it wasn't her fault, she was who she was and apparently that meant girls did it for her. Tough that she blames on Vega, because before she stumbled into her life ladies weren't on the menu. But now it seemed like they were all that could give her the warm and fuzzy feeling... in her pants. She remembers finding Beck so much more attractive before, and some guys are still hot, but... what was that number on the sexuality scale 5.5, maybe.

With no word from the hacker the silence is filling with more mental noise, so she breaks it, "It's a long story... and no she's not in danger from me."

"Okay, I actually believe you. Stay safe and have fun."

That was definitely not the response she was expecting, "Wait. That's it?"

"Unless you have something to add, yes."

"So, no copies of my stuff remain?" The goth has to reaffirm.

"Only yours."

"And you aren't going to tell anyone about this?" She finds it fairly hard to believe that this person would pop in just to make sure Vega wasn't about to be torture-raped by her or something. No one does that, no one cares that much about random people.

"Should I?"

"NO!" Screamed as if it was the only way to stop Harley from telling others.

"Then I suppose that's your answer. Unless you want me to help you find a latina and get laid."

"I don't need nor want your help." No way no how.

"Alrighty."

Honestly that went far better than she thought possible... then she started thinking about how this is probably not the last time she'll be dealing with Harley Boneraper... '_wait, no way, can't be. I mean Boneraper is... She's a fan too. No, still a hacker creep, with all my stuff on her computer, asshole.'_

* * *

Three weeks, it only took three weeks before Jade found herself staring at the number she believed would get her in contact with the hacker that had entered her life as quickly as she had left it that one fateful day. Jade herself isn't completely sure why she's staring at the number or even what she'd do if she contacted it... but she does know why she would contact it. This person knows her deepest held secrets, the ones she was foolish enough to commit to anything electronic anyway, and she seemed to come across as not giving a shit as long as no one was being violated. No judgment. No anything, but possibly helpful.

_So, help? -Jade Maggotbone, lover of interracial latin lesbians._ She can't even believe she wrote that much less sent it. But something about admitting it even in this form to someone who already knew felt kinda nice. Weird, but nice.

Knowing full well that the hac... Harley could very well be busy did not stop the anxiety Jade was feeling at getting to 'talk' to her again. But before she could indulge in a conversation with her a little message appeared saying something needed to be downloaded to continue... she understandably hesitated. It could be a trap, some kind of mega virus, or... it downloaded itself. At that Jade laughed and felt more at ease as so far that seemed to be Harley's style when it came to her phone anyway.

_Find a hooker_.

_Fuck you. _She understandably was a bit weirded out the message she sent changed to a more proper 'Fuck you' as opposed to her shorthand of it... that was until a message appeared, **autocorrection feature XB87L7 active**. Jade felt that maybe the 'you installed a freaky autocorrect on my phone' berating, very angry berating, could wait until after she got some advice/help.

_I see, so you do want to end the world then? Red wedding?_

She's tempted to pursue a conversation down that path most likely filled with wicked and macabe humor, but not today. _Do you have any actually helpful advice?_

_Have you ever even been with a female?_

Okay the use of 'female' instead of girl is a little odd, but that hardly deters Jade. _No_.

_Ever flirted? (with any females)._

_Somewhat._ It wouldn't have been terribly hard to lie, but right now she needed the kind of help that required her to be honest, not her favorite thing to be, but desperate times.

_Successfully?_

_Not so much._ Though it wasn't so much a lack of ability or skill on Jade's part, she could be scary levels sexy if she wanted to be, but...

_Straight?_

_Yeah. _Her gaydar was about as useful as a rectal thermometer in a game of battleship.

_Is Vega?_

Fair question. _Yep._

_Want to make sure?_

Now that was a slightly odd question, but still fair. _Not really._ She had no intentions to even consider putting the moves on Vega for so many reasons, chiefly though was epic embarrassment.

_You sure? There's rumor of an experimental drug that can root out subconscious sexual desires._

_That sounds like the greatest thing ever created. Where can I get as much as possible?_ Jade found the idea absurd and delightfully amusing, if only it were real... if only.

_Chaos does sound like fun, but it's been a pain in the ass to just track down a possible location of one vile. And the asking price is steep._

Maybe Jade was crazy, slipped into madness without any warning at all, but Harley sounded serious, as in genuinely serious about this chiz being real and functional and that made her consider... things. _How steep?_

_Steep._

_Millions?_

_No, not that kind of price. This is the Black Market's creepy little brother, where money is worthless and the only currency that matters is entertainment value._

Well that certainly sounded interesting, an entire economy based on entertainment. _What do they want? _

_Blood, pain, sex. The usual really. _

_How about some horror stories?_ It's not like she had a ton of snuff films lying around or anything, so she offered what she did have.

_Depends._

Jade could almost feel the inquisitive look on this girl's face from possibly half way around the world. _Really tormented terrifying shit that would give the devil nightmares._

_Maybe. Send me one. One of the tamer ones. I'll test the waters._

After some searching she found one that seemed to fit the traditional definition of 'tame' and proceeded to send it to the provided location. Then it dawned on her that Harley could've just taken what she wanted with no problem, but didn't. That made her smile, then kinda wretch a little, she either needed more friends so this wouldn't be weird or far fewer so she'd never have to deal with it... ever.

* * *

Days turned to a week before Jade finally casually inquired, _So?_

Just shy of two weeks later she sends another message, _Hey, are you dead? _

There is no direct answer but she is instead redirected to a subnet site, password provided, filled with vague records of various hacks, 'evil' lives ruined, and access to some kind of auctions, Jade wasn't entirely sure but at least they didn't seem to be for people, guns, or narcotics... so she wasn't overly concerned about it. Numerous other things were also at her finger tips including a series of new identities ripe for the abusing, briefly she considered borrowing one, since it seemed she had some kind of administrator type access to everything before her, but decided that maybe this once she'd show a little self-control. Taking a figurative step back she began wondering why in the hell she was seeing this stuff, and given the kind of power over it she seemed to have, _'what is she actually dead, and this is in her cyber-will being bequeathed to me...' ..._to which she sent another message. _Seriously, did they kill you? _

This time she was actually a little worried that maybe this little quest had killed the hacker, as in she was messaging a ghost... which lets be honesty she kinda liked the idea of, especially if said ghost messaged back affirming it and they proceeded to make use of this new development to torment people, who probably at Harley's insistence would deserve it. But there was a part of her that didn't want this individual dead, this hacker with a flare for the darker side of humor.

Then her fears were dashed, _In reverse order. No. No. Paydirt._

With a sigh of relief she sends, _So?_

_Yes, the guy liked the story. A bit too much actually. Had to disappear him._

_Disappear him? What are you in the mob? _She smirks at the ridiculousness of it.

_He's been shipped somewhere...dank and deep. Because he wanted to meet you... and given his unique decor I seriously doubt you would have gotten to keep your face. Yes._

_Thanks?_ To be fair it was a foreign word that Jade rarely ever even considered using let alone actually using, but perhaps the fact that a person who had actually wanted to torture/murder/rape/stuff her was currently imprisoned... or dead(?) had her a little bit distracted. This of course hinged on if she could trust that Harley wasn't just messing with her, which so far didn't seem to be her style, unless she played the long game really well. In fact she was getting the feeling that maybe she should just accept the hacker as either usually serious when 'working' or a complete psycho... either she could work with to her benefit, however knowing would have been nice.

_Not important. What is is that I have the vile. Unfortunately it's tainted. But I now know where to get more._

_What will it cost?_

_Can of Peak Mountain blue tuna, six roles of duct tape... pink, and a stuffed Franky the Walrus plushy from the 1972 cartoon, Mr. Tusky. _

Okay so that was a strange list of things, and she was curious about what they'd be used for in terms of entertainment, but at the moment, _Vbay?_

_Not likely. Franky is giga-rare, due to the recall... lots of fires. And deaths. _

Now she absolutely had to know about what this stuff was for, and where to get her own Franky ...for reasons. Before she can even begin to type a link appears with the words, **Open Later**. To that Jade smiled, very much enjoying getting something without having to ask for or rather demand it.

_Give me some more stories. I'll go Bartertown on this chiz._

_How many stories?_

_Not sure, probably not going to be cheap. And I got lucky with that last one, he was sloppy with his ropes. Next ones will all need to be paid in horror._

She notes the fact that Harley had most likely been in a position where she could have actually been killed looking for this stuff, _Alright, but if this doesn't work you owe me a limb._ Going with gallows humor instead of worry... because, duh, Jade. Adding, _One of yours._

_Lefty._

_Deal._ Jade then collected her best stuff; the creative, clever, and cruel collection. The kinds of stories that would definitely make for mind crippling vomit inducing performances if she were to find a cast crazy enough to perform them. But alas they were needed for a better purpose, finding out if there was a chance Vega could swing the other way... of course there was still the very likely possibility that even if she did she still wouldn't want anything to do with her sexually let alone romant... _'wait, what? this is a sexual thing, not something else. Just sexual.'_

Anyway, with the stories delivered Jade was treated to an explanation for the website and the access; leveling the field for Harley's own previous access to effectively everything that was Jade. Jade said there was one thing missing, porn links... to which Harley replied with celeb webcams... kidding. She actually just sent a rather robust list of links that... well Jade may have spent just a little too much time 'analyzing', no latin ladies loving non-latin ladies, but some really interesting stuff involving...

Several days later a very special semi-mysterious package arrived. Jade would now be able to find out the answers to her questions. However Harley did have one request, a review of the product on one of her sites, because apparently reviews are important in the underworld... who knew?

* * *

**AN: **Well that happened. lol

Yeah, so not sure what that was. Originally I was thinking more Jade pining for Tori, less making a hacker friend type deal. Sorry?

_Anyway, I like Harley as a character... not that you know much about her other than what you can infer... But I do have this semi-detailed character with a half-decent backstory, with a strangeness all her own. This just didn't feel like the place to expand on her... I kinda want to write a little oneshot (yes an actual oneshot) with her introduction (in person anyway) to Jade and Tori, because they need her to help with something time sensitive and can't reach her at all. I think the basics of it was based on a hacked prompt by...uh, rolf? no no... oh, huh, ROLF-WOlf-Of-Thunder. I remembered the first bit, cool. But I have updates that will take priority, so not likely anytime soon. -shrug- _

SOOOOOOO, I'm not dead, surprise!

_-May Dread watch over you-_


End file.
